McConnot’s Announces Plans to Launch Streaming Service … for Some Reason

In a surprising move, McConnot’s, the fast-food giant known for its iconic burgers and fries, has announced plans to launch its own streaming service - McConnot's XL. The announcement has left many scratching their heads, wondering why a fast-food chain would venture into the crowded world of digital entertainment. The answer may surprise you and dare we say - change your perspective.

McConnot's CEO (Chief Eating Officer) Connot Thompson answered people's burning questions in an interview with ASJ

Why did you think this was a good idea?

"People are too woke. They need a streaming service they can rely on not rotting their minds." he answered

Are you out of your burger grease drenched mind?

"A year or so ago I had an examination done on me by a doctor. The results were very positive, the doctor said I was in above average condition for my age. However he mentioned his discovery of a brainworm that ate its way inside and died. I'd say that my mind is perfectly clear, perfectly lucid, and full of excitement to launch McConnot's XL"

What.

McConnot's announced the pricing of the service will go for $19.99/mo per individual along with a $49.99/mo family plan (with up to 4 members). This service includes free burgers, movies, and discounts. However, McConnot's cannot afford licensing fees for big blockbuster movies. Thus they invested heavily in their own movie studio and TV shows. These shows include:

Burger Battles - 2 greased up GD mods fight over a burger

The Secret Sauce - Connot tells you about the secret sauce

Drive-Thru Confessions - Real anonymous McConnot's customers order at the drive-thru at 3 AM and tell their darkest confessions

Happy Meal Mysteries - Kids animated series about the dark mysteries of McConnot's Corporation

People are very Intrigued by this streaming service and are interested to see where McConnot's new direction takes them.